Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize