we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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