We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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