no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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