Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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