On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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