so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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