real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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