shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize