How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
