Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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