You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
