No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
