i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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