is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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