the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
