Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
as a side note pls kill me
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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