I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
