Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
