Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize