we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
