I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
