I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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