you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
