I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
