everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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