guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
