I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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