yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Come on in and take your pants off
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