clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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