you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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