Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize