I just cut my nipple shaving
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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