just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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