JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
