It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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