i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
