I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
