If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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