Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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