You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
