Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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