even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
