Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
How external is "for external use only"?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
