I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So apparently I’m into choking now
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
