marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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