I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
