Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
