Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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