i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
