I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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