8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
