you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
