Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Randomize
