You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
