Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
