it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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