do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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