You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
