She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
only if we run a train.
done.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
