i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
