STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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