I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Drake has all the answers
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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