so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
