There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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