I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
