Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
