Your face is a jimmy john
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
