Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
